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But can anyone seriously conclude it to be the case? If all our lives are brought about from a point (conjoined) then where does it end? Where does it end, man? I don't understand the repercussions, the circumstance, the action/inaction to consequence. But I do understand it, it never works out. My life has followed the exact same cycle for years on end and I'm not sure if I'll ever make it out. Or if I'll ever be able to handle the low parts of it another time. Or the time after that. I feel great now, for seemingly no reason, and soon I'll feel terrible. The world will crash, all of reality will come to me, then run away. I had so much destroyed over the years because of these cycles. Despite fully understanding all of this, I'm still left with no control, and despite my knowledge growing ever year it becomes more disastrous year after year. One day maybe I'll actually go through with one of the whims that consumes me during that time and follow through with a destructive plot. I was only saved last time due to airline ticket prices rising tenfold the exact day before the day of my plan. Or 2(3?) years ago when the shelf fell apart saving me from that plan. Or the year after that where I was worked to exhaustion preventing another plan. The point is: God has continued to defend me from myself despite all I've done. What am I even doing.
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Grinoldy Lifestyle